Staplers
by Eliana Panthera
Summary: //"What the hell did you do with my stapler? I'm willing to hurt you with this…with this cotton ball if you don't give it back!"// Kate's stapler has gone missing, something which isn't good for anyone. -Kate/Ziva-


**A/N: **This is a little bit crack-fic-ish, but the idea attacked me and I couldn't resist writing it.

**Staplers**

"Dammit!" Kate Todd yelled, digging through the piles of crap that filled her desk. Papers, pencils, sketchpad, a photo of a naked woman (she would yell at Tony for that later), but the thing she needed was nowhere in sight. She cursed again; opening and closing the drawer a few times as if that could make the missing object magically appear. It didn't work.

Tony raised an eyebrow, smirking like the mega-sized asshole that he was, "What's wrong, Katie?" He had the nerve to smirk at her, and call her _Katie_! She would yell at him for that later, too.

Grabbing the nearest thing from the top of her desk to use as a weapon (or to stab DiNozzo through the eye with), she stormed over to Tony's desk, "What the hell did you do with my stapler? I'm willing to hurt you with this…with this cotton ball if you don't give it back!"

_A cotton ball? Really, Todd? Really? _Kate yelled in her brain, glaring furiously at DiNozzo and waving the cotton ball in his face as if she really thought it would intimidate him. She knew that she was making herself look even more like an insane loser (which was, surprisingly, possible), but she didn't care.

"Your stapler? What does it look like? I can put out a BOLO," Tony sneered, and Kate balled her hands into fists. Usually, she wouldn't be this pissed off about a stapler, but she had a report that she needed to give Gibbs _yesterday_, and he would kill her if she didn't have it at his desk within the next hour. But she couldn't turn it in until she stapled it. This was a matter of _life and death_.

"You know what the freaking stapler looks like, DiNozzo! _Dammit!_" Kate shouted, and Tony's smirk faltered. He scooted backwards in his chair, trying to become a part of the material. His attempts failed, though, and Kate leaned over his desk and glared at him darkly.

She probably would have shoved her cotton ball into his eye if she hadn't heard the sniggering from behind her. In a very un-graceful move, she whirled on her heel and stormed over to the desk of one Mossad Ninja. Ziva held up the stapler, smirking teasingly.

Kate probably would have strangled the Israeli if it had been anyone else. Ziva could kill her with a Kleenex, and Kate really didn't want to risk her life. Though, if she didn't get her stapler, Gibbs would kill her. Gibbs or Ziva? Ex-marine or Ninja?

Deciding that Ziva was the lesser of two evils, Kate stormed over and snarled, "Give. Me. Back. My. Stapler!" She tried to grab it, but Ziva pulled her hand away and Kate added, "Or I'll kill you! I swear, Ziva!"

"With a cotton ball? How would you go about doing that?" Ziva asked, still smirking, raising her eyebrows. The world _hated _Kate today, and god dammit did it suck.

"I…I—stop distracting me! Just give me back the stapler!" Kate said, almost desperately. Ziva just continued to smirk, and started tossing the stapler back and forth between her hands with expert skill. _Damn her talent, _Kate thought, then shook her head and focused once again on her stapler.

Ziva tilted her head to the side and ran her fingers over the stapler, "What is in this for me? How about you get down on your knees and beg? Yes, that sounds fair."

Kate gaped at her for a moment, then managed to pick up her jaw before a fly could decided to take an adventure in her mouth, "You're worse than DiNozzo! No! Never!"

"Then I guess this stapler is mine," Ziva said, smirking again before leaning forward to put the stapler in a desk drawer. Kate gritted her teeth, then acted completely on impulse.

She grabbed Ziva by the front of her shirt and kissed her. Ziva went rigid and dropped the stapler on her desk before returning the favor. Her lips were warm and soft and tasted like strawberries. Kate was going to hell for this, but she didn't care because _dammit _it felt good.

Air became a necessity, and they broke apart. Ziva whispered, "What happened to not kissing at work?" Kate didn't respond, deciding that Tony didn't need to know about her and Ziva's relationship, grabbing the stapler and winking at the Israeli.

She turned to go back to her desk, then froze on the spot, glaring furiously at the other occupant of the Bullpen.

"Tony DiNozzo, you stop recording and delete that video _right _now, or I'll kill you with this…bubble gum! Damn, I'm not having much luck finding weapons today."

A laugh escaped past Tony's lips, then Kate and Ziva both glared at him as furiously as possible. Kate smirked in satisfaction when Tony, once again, tried to become part of the material of his chair as he quickly deleted the video from his phone.

Maybe today wouldn't end up so bad, after all.

**Reviews make my world go round, seriously.**


End file.
